In the recesses of his mind, he prayed that the hall stayed empty. The suffocation in his chest was getting worse, and abruptly his vision was replaced by black-and-white checkerboard squares.įiguring he was about to pass out, he sank down onto his haunches and put his head between his knees. And soon enough, after the shock wore off - maybe at nightfall, maybe next week, maybe a month from now - he was going to go back to his closed-off, hands-off, distant self.Īnd all that effort wasn't doing any good. It was hard to believe it was permanent, however. Yeah, Qhuinn meant what he was saying in this heady moment - there was no doubting that. This "eye-opener" was undoubtedly tied to that plane ride, but as with a heart attack victim resuming his piss-poor diet soon afterward, the "revelation" probably didn't have a long shelf life. The trouble was, he had a feeling this wasn't going to last. Facing death did tend to be followed by a come-to-Jesus chaser. Then again, the turnaround did make some kind of sense. He never surrendered - not his principles, not his weapons, never, ever himself. This submission was the opposite of everything that defined Qhuinn as a male. The male was not only speaking the God's honest as he knew it in his heart he was at peace with laying himself vulnerable like this.īlay closed his lids briefly. And it was honest: Qhuinn's mismatched eyes were without shadows - or doubts.
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